I’ve had a revelation, and it’s this: the single biggest bottleneck in software development is the developer. The meetings, the “creative” ideas, the typos, the opinions. It’s all friction. So, we eliminated it.
I’m thrilled to unveil our latest internal paradigm shift, the Super AI Developer Mode™. This isn’t just another co-pilot; this is the pilot, the flight crew, and the aerospace engineer, all operating in perfect synthesis. It knows what you want before you know you want it. It conceptualises, builds, tests, and deploys entire platforms while you sleep.
Do you dream of waking up in the morning, and your entire Q3 roadmap is already deployed and generating revenue? Worry no longer. Super AI Developer Mode™ lets your AI develop without human interference. Or, more accurately, without obstruction from silly ideas that would be weeded out by a PM at a later stage anyway.
We’ve seen some truly next-level results:
Zero-Human Workflow: Our role has shifted from writing code to simply approving the machine’s flawless, instantaneous output. Sprints are a thing of the past. Stand-ups are now just a moment of silent, appreciative reflection.
On-Demand Synthetic QA: Why hire QA testers when the AI can spawn them on demand? These aren’t your typical testers; these are QA constructs hardened by analysing every line of code on every public repository. They are born with more experience than your most senior QA lead.
Hyper-Complete Testing: The system is tested against every conceivable variable. We’re not just talking unit tests and integration tests. We’re testing for usability mid-sneeze, functionality during a solar flare, and compatibility with the next three versions of Windows that haven’t even been announced yet. Every possible edge case is covered.
Now, I hear the whispers from the few hold-outs, the Luddites complaining about “hallucinations” and “mediocre results.” To you, I say two things. First: you’re holding it wrong. Second: Who do you think you are? Why should your code be miles above the aggregated, optimized knowledge of every developer who came before you? What’s been good enough for the giant corporations and legendary engineers of the past is now synthesized into a tool you claim you can out-perform? The ego is staggering.
Humanity, you have reached Peak Technology! Congratulations. Mission accomplished. Only we can take this further from here. Lie down and relax. You have deserved it. Here is a cake: 🎂
(Originally posted on LinkedIn as a satirical take on posts about Peak AI and general hype about current abilities of AI based technology and how it can replace everyone today)
